My Personal Experience with Performance Anxiety
When I was 14, I loved rowing and was naturally talented. But I also carried the weight of feeling like my success in my sport defined who I was because it felt like rowing was the first thing I was good at. Racing in my single scull was exhilarating – when I did well. However, the lead-up to racing was unbearably uncomfortable and sickeningly nerve-wracking. I didn’t know it then, but I suffered from performance anxiety.
One Moment Stands Out
There are many races I can remember dreading, but one state regatta stands out; the emotional burden became too much. I recall feeling sick with fear before an “important” race. When the time came, instead of waiting in the starting area, I hid my boat near the shore, removed some screws on my boat, and intentionally missed the race. I’ll never forget the shame of trying to explain this last-minute exit to my coach.
My Athletic Journey: The Ups and Downs
Despite these struggles, I went on to represent my state and even my country in rowing. I noticed that I performed better in team boats. Sharing the responsibility with teammates eased my intense pressure when competing alone.
Why I Became a Psychologist
This personal experience was pivotal in shaping my career as a psychologist. After speaking with a client who reminded me of my struggles as a teen, I decided to work with athletes. I want to spare others the shame of unhelpful behaviour driven by trying to avoid anxiety or other uncomfortable emotions.
Well-Meaning Words Aren’t Enough
During my anxious moments, I heard plenty of well-meaning advice like, “You’ll be fine” or “Believe in yourself.” Although kind, these words meant nothing because they didn’t address the core issue—my unrecognized anxiety.
You’re Not Alone
If my story resonates with you, understand that performance anxiety is a challenge that many athletes face. Knowing how to manage these feelings is crucial for not just your athletic performance but also your well-being.
Upcoming Webinar
Join me on Monday, October 16th, at 6:30 p.m. (AEDT) for a webinar where I’ll discuss performance anxiety and offer strategies for managing overwhelming emotions. Visit http://www.focusedpsych.org to register.
Thank you for reading my story, and I hope to connect with you soon.