Parents play a huge role in a young athlete’s experience of sport. But knowing how to support a child through pressure, disappointment, nerves, setbacks and competition isn’t always straightforward.
Last weekend, I ran a sport psychology workshop for parents of young athletes focused on exactly that: how parents can support their child in sport without unintentionally adding more pressure.
What came through most strongly was the uncertainty parents can feel in those emotionally charged moments. They care deeply and want to support their child, but can find themselves second-guessing whether to say something, give them space, offer perspective or simply listen.
The workshop became less about finding the “right” response and more about helping parents feel more confident reading the moment, understanding what their child might need, and responding in a way that keeps the relationship at the centre.
One parent described the dilemma perfectly:
“If I say something, it’s the wrong thing. But if I don’t say anything, my child tells me I don’t care.”
I suspect that will resonate with a lot of parents of young athletes.
You can see your child is struggling and naturally want to help. But asking questions can sometimes feel intrusive. Offering advice can sound like criticism. Trying to reassure them can accidentally minimise how they feel. And saying nothing can be interpreted as a lack of interest.
It can leave parents feeling as though there is a very narrow line between being supportive and adding even more pressure.
And there usually isn’t a perfect thing to say.
Supporting Young Athletes Without Trying to Fix Everything
A major theme of the workshop was learning how to respond without immediately trying to solve the problem.
When someone we love is distressed, our instinct is often to make the distress disappear. We reassure, problem-solve, offer perspective or start planning what they should do next.
Sometimes that is useful.
But sometimes a young athlete first needs someone who can sit alongside the disappointment rather than immediately trying to remove it.
That may mean listening without analysing the performance, giving them some space, or simply asking:
“Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather have some space?”
Sometimes the most helpful response is not a solution at all.
And sometimes it means leaving the sport conversation alone entirely and simply being their parent.
When a Parent Is Also the Coach
Another interesting dynamic in the room was that one parent was also a coach.
That creates an additional challenge.
A young athlete might need technical feedback from their coach and emotional support from their parent. When those two roles sit with the same person, the boundaries can become blurred.
At times, it may help to make the distinction explicit:
“Do you want me to answer that as your coach or as your mum/dad?”
That simple question can help both people work out what is actually needed in the moment.
It also highlights something we sometimes overlook in junior sport: parents are an important part of the athlete’s sporting environment.
We spend considerable time developing athletes, educating coaches and training support staff. Parents, however, are often expected to work out their role through trial and error.
Parents Need Opportunities to Learn and Practise Too
The feedback from the workshop was very positive, but one comment came up repeatedly.
People wanted more time.
In particular, they wanted more time to work through real situations and practise how they might respond.
That feedback stayed with me.
In most professional roles, we have opportunities to learn skills before we are expected to use them.
We attend training. We discuss examples. We practise difficult conversations. We receive feedback. We reflect on what worked and what we might do differently next time.
Parenting doesn’t come with a practicum.
The difficult moment happens and suddenly you are in it.
Your child is crying in the car after competition.
They are furious with their coach.
They have been dropped from a team.
They are terrified before an event.
They want to quit.
They have performed badly and refuse to speak.
There is no rehearsal.
And because it is your own child, your emotions are involved too.
That is why I think there is an important place for parent education within sport psychology.
Not because parents are getting it wrong, but because these are skills — and skills improve when people have an opportunity to learn, reflect and practise.
What We Covered in the Parent Sport Psychology Workshop
During the workshop, we explored:
- how pressure and stress can affect young athletes
- fight, flight and freeze responses
- motivation and the importance of autonomy, competence and connection
- how parents can respond before and after competition
- the sometimes-tricky car ride home
- the difference between supporting a young person through difficulty and trying to remove the difficulty for them
- how parents can recognise and manage their own emotional responses to their child’s sport.
Watching your child compete can bring up a lot: pride, worry, frustration, disappointment, protectiveness and sometimes memories of your own experiences in sport.
Being aware of those reactions matters too.
The aim of the workshop wasn’t to give parents a script or a list of things they should and shouldn’t say.
It was to help them understand some of the psychology underneath these moments so they could respond with greater confidence and flexibility.
Why Parent Education Matters in Junior Sport
One of my biggest takeaways from the afternoon was that there is a real appetite for this kind of conversation.
Parents care enormously about supporting their children well.
But perhaps we need to move away from the idea that good sports parenting is something people should simply know how to do.
There is value in giving parents of young athletes a place to ask questions, work through difficult situations and practise different ways of responding before the next high-pressure moment arrives.
Sport psychology is not only about what happens inside the athlete.
The environment around them matters too.
And helping parents feel more confident, informed and connected may be one of the most useful ways we can support young athletes to have healthier, more sustainable experiences in sport.